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12 Ways to Bring out the Best in Yourself & Others

As you begin to accept your new role in your career or business, a new challenge arises. A great leader posses a clear vision, is courageous, has integrity, honesty, humility and clear focus. ... Great leaders help people reach their goals, are not afraid to hire people that might be better than them and take pride in the accomplishments of those they help along the way. In this role, it is important to bring out the best in your team and in yourself.


Here are 12 ways to bring out the best in yourself and others.


1. Be Relentlessly Positive

There are two reasons to be relentlessly positive. The first is because it's far better for you and second, it's far better for everyone else. William James said, "Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, change the outer aspects of their lives." The quality of your life depends on the way you choose, in each and every moment, to see and relate to life. The person you choose to be, the attitude you choose to maintain and the expectations you choose to live with ultimately come from you, not from outside factors. Just because there are reasons to be discouraged doesn’t mean you must be discouraged. Choose to live with joy, and with your life, you will create plenty of reasons to be joyful.


2. Go the Extra Mile (even when you have to walk)

If you say that someone is willing to go the extra mile, you mean that they are willing to make a special effort to do or achieve something. But what if you can't see the benefits of the extra mile? Don't give up! The mile does not have an mph gauge attached. Go at your own speed, the benefits will follow. It takes a lot of discipline and time. Discipline leads to high self-esteem. Self-esteem leads to courage. The more time you take going the extra mile on your projects, the more skills you will gain.


3. Determine What's Expected of You (and then just do it)

That same energy you put into changing your mind should be the energy you put into doing what you are expected to do. Your role comes with elevated expectations and you can reach and exceed those expectations. As a supervisor, team lead or manager expectations are necessary for you and your team. State your expectations clearly and specifically and be sure to follow up and follow through.


4. Eliminate Negative Self-Talk

According to VeryWellMind.com, Negative self-talk is any inner dialogue you have with yourself that may be limiting your ability to believe in yourself and your own abilities, and reach your potential. It is any thought that diminishes you and your ability to make positive changes in your life or your confidence in your ability to do so. If this is your first time reading my blog, please go read my post, Yourself is Listening, I dig deeper on this topic. To summarize, watch how you talk to yourself because you are listening. Don't tell yourself that you wish you could do better, make a plan and refer to #3... just do it. Stop talking down your plans or thinking that you are not going to able to accomplish your goal. Change your thoughts to affirmations. Follow me on Instagram for weekly affirmations like "Be the Goal Digger," "Don't let your delivery silence your message," & of course "Do it in excellence or not at all."


5. Invest in Yourself (sometimes it really is all about you)

How many entrepreneurs or small business owners need more investors? More crowdfunding? Just more period. Here is something to ponder... how much investment have you put in other ventures not your own? Honey, it's time out for that! Yes, this is the season where it really is about you. You have spent your time and resources sowing into other ventures. Now, invest in yourself! This investment could include a dedicated workday on your ventures and not your clients. Another example could be updating your business cards, obtaining a dedicated voicemail, or finally tackling a website. Better yet, make 2020 the year you start to get a paycheck, even if it's a quarterly paycheck.


6. Get Over Yourself (self-absorption isn't pretty)

Listen, we all have our days when it's all about what we want when we want it, how we want it. Most of us can self-check and get out of it, but sometimes we stay in our self-absorbed state. As leaders, we must understand that our employees and counterparts can suffer from self-absorption as well. I read a great book on Google by

J. Matthew Nance entitled Breaking Free Fro Me: Breaking Free from Me: Getting Self in Sync With the Big Picture. This self-help book gives a religious theory to getting over yourself -- Get over a focus on self by getting your hands busy serving others. Walking the line of empathy and leading takes great focus and it can not be on your personal goals. Leaders must get over themselves quickly and zoom in on the bigger picture, the ultimate goal at hand. When you show that you are the leader of the team and not the leader of just you, your team will have a boosted morale level and you will get the best work from your team.


7. Dress for Your Desired Purpose (it's an extension of you)

When it comes to success in business, it is important to be confident. A huge factor in confidence is self-esteem, which is inevitably linked to your appearance. Your appearance is the first most influential impression one can make. This is the reason why I choose to create a commandment of expectation for myself; Thou shall not look defeated. Although I may not be in the career path that I desire, I dress as if I am the CEO,000,000 - never turning down my ambition.

Transparent Moment: I wake every day to go to a 9-5 job. In my mind, I am getting dressed to enter my 5 story building... home to PurplePinking Media and Productions. On Mondays, I dress as I am the CFO; Tuesdays I am the COO; Wednesdays I dress as if I am preparing to host a workshop; Thursdays I am the chair-lady of the board of directors and Friday I dress as if I am on my way to the television studio for a production meeting. All of these things... all of these positions I hold, because I am a sole proprietor of a soon-to-be multi-billion dollar media company. I know that is my desired purpose and I walk in it every day. I am walking to my purpose and one day, it will be real. But until then, you will never see me in anything less than what my visioned purpose.


8. Schedule Rest Periods (get down with downtime)

According to an Entrepreneur.com article, rest is the secret to entrepreneurial success, comparing the daily lifestyle of a cheetah to an aspiring entrepreneur. Cheetahs work hard to capture their prey, but they quickly compensate for each burst by hiding, waiting and resting. Most entrepreneurs start their careers in anti-cheetah mode.

When you think of entrepreneurship, the words, constantly working, hustling, building and growing all come to mind. But for many entrepreneurs and small business owners, the lessoned learned is that busy does not mean successful. According to Joseph Bienvenu, a psychiatrist and director of the Anxiety Disorders Clinic at Johns Hopkins Hospital, busyness has become a widespread health issue: “Emotional distress due to over busyness manifests as difficulty focusing and concentrating, impatience and irritability, trouble getting adequate sleep, and mental and physical fatigue.”


One would quickly learn and adapt to balancing work with restorative rest would increase productivity. For busy bees, it is imperative to schedule rest periods just as we would schedule our production and/or meetings. Busyness robs us of precious hours: to think, play, explore, nurture relationships -- and to rest.


Schedule short times, daily to rest and reflect. Be sure to implement this same mentality with your team members. Make sure your team understands that wellness is a top priority. And most importantly work to live not live to work.


9. Have Fun (get serious about your sense of humor)

Nothing boosts and maintains morale than a leader who can have fun. Creating a fun yet productive environment calls for a person that has a sense of humor. It's okay to play hard and to work harder, but you have to leave room for play. Understanding the essence of fun for your team is vital and could be a breaking point for someone leaving your team or join. If you have trouble finding your sense of humor, add it to your next meeting agenda. Find a great ice breaker that would incorporate a laugh or two. If you have issues with a team member that can not balance play and work, ask them to harness that play with your level of seriousness to come to a happy medium.

10. Be Constructive in Your Criticism (and in your praise)

Good managers give constructive criticism—but truly masterful leaders offer constructive praise. Research shows that not only are most managers bad at giving constructive criticism—they’re even less likely to give constructive praise. In two surveys conducted by leadership development consultancy Zenger/Folkman, each of nearly 8,000 managers, 44% of managers reported that they found it stressful and difficult to give negative feedback. One-fifth avoid the practice entirely. Even more surprisingly, nearly 40% of leaders conceded to never giving positive reinforcement, either. Most leaders “vastly underestimate the power and necessity of positive reinforcement,” Jack Zenger and Joe Folkman, CEO, and president of Zenger/Folkman write in Harvard Business Review. An abundance of research shows that giving positive feedback increases employees’ sense that they’re learning and growing at their jobs, makes them feel valued, and leads to increased confidence and competence.


So what does constructive praise look like? General compliments like “Awesome job on that presentation,” or “You’re a great writer” may make an employee feel good, but they rarely shape long-term behavior and competency. When praising a colleague, it’s essential to single out the specific behavior or trait you observed and when you observed it, says Zenger. For example: “In last week’s meeting, I noticed you were willing to question the CEO’s vision for our pod’s sales goals—I really appreciate your confidence.”


One thing is clear: Giving and receiving feedback can make you feel pretty vulnerable. But it’s worth taking the emotional risk to let your colleagues know just what you value about them.


“Giving positive feedback is like giving a present—you fuss over it and worry maybe the other person won’t like it, but really, it makes both of you feel good.”


11. Make someone else feel good (it's nice to be nice)

Listen, you have to take time out to make yourself feel good; pay attention to your wellness, but truthfully, it's nice to be nice to others. Must of this blog has discussed ways to make your team feel good and ways to reflect on positive actions of yourself and others. This second to the last point does not disappoint inflowing the method of "others" wellness. My internal declaration always speaks "at your darkest hour speak your best word." That's the part about leading while bleeding that sets you apart from the other leaders.

12. Don't be a Victim (no more 'why me?')

The day of excuses, procrastination, and self-pity has expired. This is the season of declarations. At the beginning of a new venture or new month, I like to make declarations. Similar to a new year's resolution, I feel that declarations are needed throughout a year. As a new year arises, I am reclaiming what is mine and anticipating that my entourage/my team/my co-workers will arise to the occasion that best is yet to come.


I, ____________________, hereby proclaim that I am not a victim and that I am in control of my own destiny. I further pledge and agree:


1. that I will not allow others, such as ____________, to make decisions for me; 2. that I will not allow situations of the past, like the following, _________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________________, to repeat themselves; 3. that I will allow myself to feel inadequate or bullied as I did in the following situations: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________; 4. that I will accept responsibility for my own well-being as I did in the past, as in teh following situations: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________; 5. that I will again take control as I did in the past , as in the following situations: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.


Signed __________________________________________________________________


"Time is the coin of life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you." ~ Carl Sandburg


In conclusion, the best way to get the best out of yourself and others is to hold yourself accountable for the good and the bad in your life and have empathy towards others. Always remember that someone is looking to you for guidance, assistance, and love -- regardless of whether you see them or not.



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